took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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