Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just gargled with NyQuil
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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