it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm like, not good at living.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
