i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
