I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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