I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
