I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
