I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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