Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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