there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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