Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
