I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
