Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
