Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
