shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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