Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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