soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
