Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
