just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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