i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
