i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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