Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
