I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
