a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
