Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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