you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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