Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
