We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
