in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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