Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
