You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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