Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
