I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
