Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
