she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Please don't give away my fajitas
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