YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
