so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
