if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
