How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
