i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
