Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well I can't set my house on fire every night
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
