You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
