real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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