Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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