I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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