This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Two words: blizzard sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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