so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
