White coat. Heels.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
