and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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