my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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