u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize