It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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