Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
