Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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