dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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