white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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