Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
