I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
